I Am Ozzy

I Am Ozzy, And So Can You
Let’s raise a glass for the ghost writers, the co-writers, the written-withs who dare to transcribe the ramblings and mis-recollections of fried celebrity minds and then somehow alchemize them into coherent, linear stories. And let’s send a case of scotch to I Am Ozzy “contributor” Chris Ayres who, in a miracle worthy of the gospels, sat down with the Prince of Darkness and walked away with an utterly riveting piece of comic literature. In fact, young druggie drop-out Ozzy Osbourne’s misadventures in working class 1960s Britain sounds a hell of a lot like A Clockwork Orange (sans fashion statements).

Of course, the real madness begins in the ’70s when he and Black Sabbath become infamous for their heavy riffs, satanic imagery and raucous lifestyles. “It was like bedlam and pandemonium all rolled into one, and then multiplied by chaos.” And away we go on one of the greatest rock ‘n’ roll rides of all time. Let’s see, there’s the thing with the dove, and the bat incident, and the peeing on the Alamo. But also the music, the tragedies, the court cases, the touching/bizarre Ozzy/Sharon love story (aw, she forgave him for strangling her!). And a thousand other little anecdotes that sound so fantastical in longform, it’s just not worth trying to summarize them here. In cause you’re wondering: no, the audiobook is not read by the man himself, but by actor Frank Skinner who nails the cadences without doing an impersonation. Once the book is over, you’re reminded why, as Ayres does a little Q&A with his subject and damn if Ozzy — who could outsing the Devil himself — doesn’t sound like some kinda limey Jabba the Hutt in casual conversation. So now let's toast the narrators.